Push presents are meant to reward a woman for going through nine arduous months, successfully conquering the battle of labor, and finally bringing new life into the word. But some push present ideas are like a slap in the face, pulling women right out of their heroic celebration and shouting, “Hey, get back to the kitchen and make me a sammich.” Or something like that.
Over the last several weeks, I’ve received a number of emails from guys asking about which push present ideas they should run with – and some of them are downright horrible. Of course, the perpetrators will remain anonymous. Hopefully they’ve decided to take a better look around this blog and pick out some of the push present ideas that actually make sense.
Without further ado, I present to you the worst push present ideas ever:
Breast Milk Pump – while this might be a nice gift at the baby shower, giving a woman a breast pump as a push present is akin to telling her she’s nothing more than livestock. Like a heifer on the farm, she’ll carry a calf, and then be sent off for milking. Unless your baby’s mother actually asked for one, don’t even think about it.
Lingerie – okay, we get it, guys. You’ve spent a number of months dealing with awkward sex, and now you’re looking at another six weeks until you can get it on. But lingerie isn’t a good push present (although, for my fellow ladies reading this post, it makes the perfect reverse push present). The idea, here, is to reward her tenacity during the pregnancy – and giving her a sign that the only thing on your mind is getting back in the sack is not going to make her feel rewarded.
Running Shoes, Treadmill, Gym Membership, Etc. – Come on. Do I even need to explain this one to you? She’s spent the last nine months feeling overweight and unattractive. You’re just reinforcing that image if you give her any gift that says, “Hey baby, you need to get back in shape.” Your gift should make her feel like the beautiful mother she is.
A Vacation – I’ve seen others (who are clearly misguided, and probably not mothers) suggest that a family vacation is a great push present. There are three problems with this idea:
- A vacation immediately after birthing a new child is not going to be fun, nor enjoyable. You have a newborn who needs all of your attention, so how can you possibly enjoy the trip?
- A family vacation is not “just for her,” so it just isn’t as special as it could be.
- It’s not a long-lasting token of your appreciation for her effort. She won’t be able to hold onto it and remember just how much you appreciate everything she’s gone through.
Gift Certificates – they say absolutely nothing about how much you appreciate her, nor do they show any thought on your part. Avoid gift certificates and stick with something that has sentimental value. Gift certificates only make good gifts for friends you don’t really care about – not your baby’s mother.